How I Met My Wife, Denise

Denise and I met at a wedding reception. Denise had been brought by someone else. There was a dance at the reception, and I was about to ask some other girl to dance (to this day I do not remember who that other girl was). This other girl was standing at the side of the room, in front of chairs that had been lined up on the side. A number of people were seated in those chairs, including Denise, who was immediately behind this other girl that was standing there.

Just before I reached this other girl, a guy stepped from the side and asked this other girl to dance, and she was gone. Immediately behind where she had been standing was Denise, sitting in a chair, and I had just walked straight to her. So I asked Denise to dance and she accepted.

We danced, and I will never forget that night. We were married 10 months later.

Within a few weeks of meeting Denise, her mother wanted to take me to breakfast for a private talk. I quickly realized why. I was 29 years old and Denise was 18, and her mother wanted to know what my intentions were. She also wanted to get to know me a little better.

That morning I told Denise’s mother about a girl I knew in high school that had a boyfriend, and the boyfriend had asked her to marry him. This girl had come to me and asked me what I thought she should do, and this is what I had told her:

It’s simple. You either want to marry him, or you don’t want to marry him, or you are not sure if you do or not. If you want to marry him, then marry him. If you do NOT want to marry him, then break up NOW! And if you are not sure, then just keep dating him until you *are* sure”.

I told Denise’s mother that story. She looked at me, and she understood the message I was giving her. She knew I had no intention of playing the game of broken hearts, and that I took these things very seriously. Denise’s mother accepted that.

It didn’t take me long to decide that Denise was the one that I wanted to marry. It took Denise a *lot* longer to decide, but I am so very thankful she eventually said “yes”.

We think there is nothing wrong for a girl to initiate things with the guy of her choice. It can be her if she wishes it, and for one of our daughters, it was our daughter who initiated things with the man she is now married to. But it seems that the way society is, it is usually the guy that initiates things with the girl, and that is why we have the common clichés and stereotypically jokes like “I have to get my baseball bat out to keep the guys away from my daughter”. You’ve all heard things like that. But even then, it is still the girl’s choice, and I am so very thankful that Denise chose me.

Nevin

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